At 5:02 am, I lie awake in bed waiting for my 7:00 alarm to set my day into motion. I'm sure I could sleep right now if I weren't lying in such excitement. Today I work my last day of work before moving out of my apartment and into an adventure. Just me and this girl I am lying next to. Escaping like the sun, seceding from the world we all have come to think of as home, and returning to the home that we have long forgotten.
Tomorrow is that day. For today I seek to be absolutely and entirely present in every moment I find myself in. To love more beautifully than I have before, just as the sun paints a picture as it rounds off the horizon. So too does the sun disappear and leave the earth in darkness. So too does the sun return with magnificent, golden light to warm the cool earth. Never diminishing its light, never discriminating where the light should fall, but ever steadily moving along its path through the sky.
From earth's perspective the sun comes and goes, and those who first observed this pattern understood the sun as a dynamic sphere in the sky. With more understanding of the cosmos we learned that the sun had actually been the one motionless, stoic in its seemingly eternal meditation. This stillness is my soul, and the perception of motion is the perspective of all those on the outside, looking into my life. If you too are still, you will recognize stillness, but the one in motion will always perceive motion from those who are still.
Be still my soul, and may I see clearly all that is still, may I choose to sit in stillness, in peace, and in harmony with all that is still, peaceful and harmonious.
Namaste
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Friday, May 8, 2015
Transformation
Transformation can bring you from any point to any other point. Much like the changing of a terrain as one travels, I doubt that transformation is something that begins or ends with a distinctive line. One does not remark, I experienced transformation when I crossed this line; but rather, I experienced transformation as a progression over a series of experiences and an amount of time or space. This morning, I woke to find myself in a sort of self made hell, one that seemed to follow me from moment to moment: this moment I feel hell all around me; this moment I feel that I can only ever destroy, break, or hurt; this moment I realize my detachment from joy. Wherever I looked, I found myself to be in this hell.
I now sit feeling peaceful, but only in part. The transformation is in process, and I am only now becoming aware of it. In the same way that traveling the curvature of a spiral feels to the traveler the same as a circle, the transformation feels like stagnation. This moment I feel that perhaps this hell is cultivating healing within me, in this moment I feel that this hell is destroying all the good that I have managed to culminate within me. All the while, I have been aware that this transformation is occurring, however I have been distancing myself from that knowledge. Somewhere within myself I am entirely aware that I am perfect, that life is perfect; yet another part of myself seems to block that knowledge from me. It's as if I am remembering something that I have forgotten. I see glimpses of this knowledge, in bits and pieces, slowly coming together.
When taking a larger perspective, I now realize that this transformation has been happening since the beginning of my existence. In this technological era, we are often given the opportunity to name ourselves. One of the many names I have given myself, and the one that has stuck the most is walking_in_fog. Thinking of that now, I begin to wonder if this timelessly wise thirteen year old was even me. This name I thought of for myself is one that has more and more meaning every day that I live. The realizations are that I have been walking in fog, that the world is plain, but my eyes fail to see all that is. Today I take a moment to acknowledge that I still am walking in fog, that I am still in the state of not knowing, but I remove the veil of not knowing by realizing that there is a part of me that is knowing. A name that I have welcomed within myself, I now release. I do the same for the name A Thousand Thoughts From Here. I allow myself to be free of names and simply welcome that I am. The duality of "what" I am, or "who" I am is one thing that deserves transformation.
These questions: who, what, where, why, how, are part of what separates me from the part of myself that understands the answer to those questions. To ask the question "who," is to welcome pondering, and confusion; to release the question "who," is to welcome the understanding of the answer to the question. This understanding is something that has been glimpsed time and time again through the process of transformation. As long as I have lived, I have gone back and forth between asking and understanding. The moments of asking have been full of confusion, frustration, fear and anger, ultimately leading deeper into the hell that I woke up to this morning; where the moments of understanding have been full of peace, love, patience and acceptance, ultimately bringing me further along the path of transformation.
This understanding, this knowing allows me to build a world where I am surrounded by these fruits of peace, love, patience and acceptance. More and more, every day I release the questions, and welcome understanding. More and more every moment of today I release the questions, and welcome understanding. I wish now that I would hug more people.
namaste
I now sit feeling peaceful, but only in part. The transformation is in process, and I am only now becoming aware of it. In the same way that traveling the curvature of a spiral feels to the traveler the same as a circle, the transformation feels like stagnation. This moment I feel that perhaps this hell is cultivating healing within me, in this moment I feel that this hell is destroying all the good that I have managed to culminate within me. All the while, I have been aware that this transformation is occurring, however I have been distancing myself from that knowledge. Somewhere within myself I am entirely aware that I am perfect, that life is perfect; yet another part of myself seems to block that knowledge from me. It's as if I am remembering something that I have forgotten. I see glimpses of this knowledge, in bits and pieces, slowly coming together.
When taking a larger perspective, I now realize that this transformation has been happening since the beginning of my existence. In this technological era, we are often given the opportunity to name ourselves. One of the many names I have given myself, and the one that has stuck the most is walking_in_fog. Thinking of that now, I begin to wonder if this timelessly wise thirteen year old was even me. This name I thought of for myself is one that has more and more meaning every day that I live. The realizations are that I have been walking in fog, that the world is plain, but my eyes fail to see all that is. Today I take a moment to acknowledge that I still am walking in fog, that I am still in the state of not knowing, but I remove the veil of not knowing by realizing that there is a part of me that is knowing. A name that I have welcomed within myself, I now release. I do the same for the name A Thousand Thoughts From Here. I allow myself to be free of names and simply welcome that I am. The duality of "what" I am, or "who" I am is one thing that deserves transformation.
These questions: who, what, where, why, how, are part of what separates me from the part of myself that understands the answer to those questions. To ask the question "who," is to welcome pondering, and confusion; to release the question "who," is to welcome the understanding of the answer to the question. This understanding is something that has been glimpsed time and time again through the process of transformation. As long as I have lived, I have gone back and forth between asking and understanding. The moments of asking have been full of confusion, frustration, fear and anger, ultimately leading deeper into the hell that I woke up to this morning; where the moments of understanding have been full of peace, love, patience and acceptance, ultimately bringing me further along the path of transformation.
This understanding, this knowing allows me to build a world where I am surrounded by these fruits of peace, love, patience and acceptance. More and more, every day I release the questions, and welcome understanding. More and more every moment of today I release the questions, and welcome understanding. I wish now that I would hug more people.
namaste
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Love
I have finally learned how to love. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I am on my way.
Moving out to Denver I had to learn how to rely almost entirely on myself. Having a great work environment challenged me to be at the top of my game constantly. At first I began developing an anxiety towards these things. Not trusting that I can be good enough, not trusting my judgement enough to follow it. One day when I was working with the owner of the shop he turned to me and said, "I don't know why you don't trust yourself. I trust you." That stuck with me, and I began developing a trust in myself. I learned that my judgements can be good, and when they aren't I can learn from them. Hell, making mistakes is a part of everything.
When I saw people at work trusting in me, I began trusting my judgement. I learned to know, rather than ask. I learned how to speak confidently about what needed to be done. I learned how to be right, and I learned how to deal with being wrong. That confidence grew in every aspect of my life. I began being proactive about what needed to be done around the house, and what needed to be done in my life. Once I began living my life like this, I saw myself being surrounded by people who appreciated me. After learning how to trust myself, I began learning how to trust these people around me.
But the job is just a situation, how does one learn how to love? I began learning how to love when I learned how to love myself. When my time alone was not boring or sad, but profound and refreshing. I learned how to trust others after learning to trust myself. Interaction begins with and ends with you, if you do not love yourself then you will not be able to love the people around you. Life is just too hard for that. Nobody is strong enough to endure the weight of their own self loathing. You are beautiful and extraordinary. Dive deep into yourself and learn who you are. Love yourself and trust yourself. Admit to yourself when you are wrong, and move on with the experience to guide your next encounter. Be the most amazing version of yourself that only you are.
Just love. The rest will follow.
Moving out to Denver I had to learn how to rely almost entirely on myself. Having a great work environment challenged me to be at the top of my game constantly. At first I began developing an anxiety towards these things. Not trusting that I can be good enough, not trusting my judgement enough to follow it. One day when I was working with the owner of the shop he turned to me and said, "I don't know why you don't trust yourself. I trust you." That stuck with me, and I began developing a trust in myself. I learned that my judgements can be good, and when they aren't I can learn from them. Hell, making mistakes is a part of everything.
When I saw people at work trusting in me, I began trusting my judgement. I learned to know, rather than ask. I learned how to speak confidently about what needed to be done. I learned how to be right, and I learned how to deal with being wrong. That confidence grew in every aspect of my life. I began being proactive about what needed to be done around the house, and what needed to be done in my life. Once I began living my life like this, I saw myself being surrounded by people who appreciated me. After learning how to trust myself, I began learning how to trust these people around me.
But the job is just a situation, how does one learn how to love? I began learning how to love when I learned how to love myself. When my time alone was not boring or sad, but profound and refreshing. I learned how to trust others after learning to trust myself. Interaction begins with and ends with you, if you do not love yourself then you will not be able to love the people around you. Life is just too hard for that. Nobody is strong enough to endure the weight of their own self loathing. You are beautiful and extraordinary. Dive deep into yourself and learn who you are. Love yourself and trust yourself. Admit to yourself when you are wrong, and move on with the experience to guide your next encounter. Be the most amazing version of yourself that only you are.
Just love. The rest will follow.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
A Challenge
If you do not believe there is wool over your eyes, I have a challenge for you. I challenge you to look where you would never have looked before; at ideas you would never have allowed to be uttered in your presence before. I challenge you to look at these ideas from a neutral perspective.
Hold parties responsible, and if they are not trustworthy, do not trust them.
Hold parties responsible, and if they are not trustworthy, do not trust them.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Perhaps We Miss The Point.
Perhaps the secret to life isn't the wisdom of the elders or the inspiration of the young. Perhaps it brings us once again to balance. For would not the elder who is inspired by the young be the wise one who was still breathing life? And is it not the young who lives with the wisdom of the elder who will be living when the others fall? And not to say falling by the terms of life and death, but rather by the terms of life and defeat. Mediocrity must remain the foe to be run from. Within any belief system, it is mediocrity that will destroy the person.
We battle because we cannot see that we work toward the same goals. We battle because we are put off by this or that. We battle not because of legitimate need, drawn from interaction. We battle because of a petty affliction drawn from within. I hate my fellow man, not for what he has done, but for how I have chosen to react to him before I even came into contact with him; with the truth. Selfish desire, insecurity, mistrust: these are the reasons we battle. These are the reasons for our restless toil, and does it not all stem from living out of balance? Even a slave has the opportunity to react to what happens, when we forfeit that opportunity is when we become a slave to these ever personal attributes: selfish desire, insecurity, mistrust.
I saw a post 2 days ago that said this:
"R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,609,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit."
We battle because we cannot see that we work toward the same goals. We battle because we are put off by this or that. We battle not because of legitimate need, drawn from interaction. We battle because of a petty affliction drawn from within. I hate my fellow man, not for what he has done, but for how I have chosen to react to him before I even came into contact with him; with the truth. Selfish desire, insecurity, mistrust: these are the reasons we battle. These are the reasons for our restless toil, and does it not all stem from living out of balance? Even a slave has the opportunity to react to what happens, when we forfeit that opportunity is when we become a slave to these ever personal attributes: selfish desire, insecurity, mistrust.
I saw a post 2 days ago that said this:
"R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,609,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit."
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Go do it.
If you find yourself lying in bed, and wanting to do something, I think it would be acceptable to go do it.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Life.
Do what you want, and live the life that happens.
Do what you need and live the life you want.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Decriminalization in GR
This is a blog to congratulate the city of Grand Rapids: the officials as well as the citizens. This is a blog to congratulate democracy for working as it should. This is a blog to congratulate a core group of people who had a vision, and made a change.
On August 14th it was announced by DCGR (Decriminalize GR) that they had received enough signatures to officially hold a spot on the local ballot. Months later, the people of Grand Rapids agreed with DCGR, by voting to make the possession and use of marijuana a civil offense, with a maximum fine of $100. This is an accomplishment by DCGR, the city of Grand Rapids, and the ideals of democracy that have the potential of making this country great.
Once again, I say congratulations to the core of DCGR, to those who signed the petition, to the officials who heeded the voice of their citizens, and to the citizens who voted to pass the decriminalization of marijuana in Grand Rapids.
On August 14th it was announced by DCGR (Decriminalize GR) that they had received enough signatures to officially hold a spot on the local ballot. Months later, the people of Grand Rapids agreed with DCGR, by voting to make the possession and use of marijuana a civil offense, with a maximum fine of $100. This is an accomplishment by DCGR, the city of Grand Rapids, and the ideals of democracy that have the potential of making this country great.
Once again, I say congratulations to the core of DCGR, to those who signed the petition, to the officials who heeded the voice of their citizens, and to the citizens who voted to pass the decriminalization of marijuana in Grand Rapids.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Joy
Everyone has life to deal with. Difficulties and hard times to process daily. But I promise that today can be a good day if you let it. I promise that it can feel good to be a part of the human race. I promise that it can feel good to look in the mirror and see your own face looking back. I promise that that face can be filled with joy and happiness. Step aside, and let today be uplifting. The only person that can stop me from having a good day today is me.
Welcome to the only day, the current day, the best day: welcome to Today
-Evan
Welcome to the only day, the current day, the best day: welcome to Today
-Evan
Monday, October 22, 2012
Animal
What if all of the standards of our society were lost? Would you still have any power? Would you survive? Darwinism exists in our society, but in a different way than it has in the past. I want to be powerful beyond politics and money. I want to be powerful through the sharpness of my mind and the fitness of my body. I want to fight someone and win. I want to exert physical force that is greater than my enemy's.
I am a man existing in a spiritual state, but I am also an animal existing in a physical state.
I want to master both.
Welcome to Today
-Evan
I am a man existing in a spiritual state, but I am also an animal existing in a physical state.
I want to master both.
Welcome to Today
-Evan
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Power
Bane: [to Stryver] Leave us!
Roland Daggett: No! You stay here, I'm in charge!
Bane: [puts his hand on Daggett's shoulder] Do you feel in charge?
[Stryver leaves]
Roland Daggett: I paid you a small fortune.
Bane: And this gives you power over me?
(Quote from IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0000208/quotes)
Roland Daggett thinks that his money give him power over others. Bane knows that his physical strength, intelligence, and the loyalty of his men gives him real power. The wealthy feel entitled because of what they have done with their money, but there is no power there. Power comes when people understand the power of your will; the integrity of your soul. Money can buy an army of mercenaries, but only loyalty can create an army of comrades.
Where do you draw false power?
Where can you draw real power?
Reach into your soul.
Be powerful.
Welcome to Today
-Evan
Roland Daggett: No! You stay here, I'm in charge!
Bane: [puts his hand on Daggett's shoulder] Do you feel in charge?
[Stryver leaves]
Roland Daggett: I paid you a small fortune.
Bane: And this gives you power over me?
(Quote from IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0000208/quotes)
Roland Daggett thinks that his money give him power over others. Bane knows that his physical strength, intelligence, and the loyalty of his men gives him real power. The wealthy feel entitled because of what they have done with their money, but there is no power there. Power comes when people understand the power of your will; the integrity of your soul. Money can buy an army of mercenaries, but only loyalty can create an army of comrades.
Where do you draw false power?
Where can you draw real power?
Reach into your soul.
Be powerful.
Welcome to Today
-Evan
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Writing Music
Lately I have been trying to learn myself about how to write music. It's harder than I thought. I am jamming on a few different riffs, and making some rad beats, but the lyrics and catchy melody are so difficult to make natural. I know what sort of message I want to send with my first album, but I don't know how to say it all in an artistic way, full of flow without the weight that I've come to know in this life I live day to night and this love I live tomorrow or later tonight.
I want to ask the same questions that I ask in this blog, but I need a lightness to be mixed in. I need some songs to be crushingly emotional while others are whimsically releasing. I need my personality to be embodied in song. I want to create a real, perfectly authentic expression of my soul.
If I can do all these things, I can do anything.
But first I must be responsible to both the life I have lived and the life that I want to pursue. The past me has created some baggage that I need to fell, and the present me can't help but look towards the future and towards my dreams. The past will be handled on the way to the future. I have a plan, and it will be marvelous.
Welcome to a dark, wet, but surprisingly warm Today
-Evan
I want to ask the same questions that I ask in this blog, but I need a lightness to be mixed in. I need some songs to be crushingly emotional while others are whimsically releasing. I need my personality to be embodied in song. I want to create a real, perfectly authentic expression of my soul.
If I can do all these things, I can do anything.
But first I must be responsible to both the life I have lived and the life that I want to pursue. The past me has created some baggage that I need to fell, and the present me can't help but look towards the future and towards my dreams. The past will be handled on the way to the future. I have a plan, and it will be marvelous.
Welcome to a dark, wet, but surprisingly warm Today
-Evan
Friday, October 12, 2012
Falling
In the same fashion that feathers fall from birds, so too do we fall. We are all united in origin, but fall in such different manners: one straight down; one flipping end over end; one being swept away by the wind; and yet another floats gracefully down. We all fall from the same origin, and land at the same end, but my fall will be magnificent, and I will land where I love. The wind will sweep below, above and around me; falling in spiraling swirls.
I will fall and be felled, as will you. I will move and be moved, by and with you.
Today I shift my weight and fall this way; tomorrow I hold my weight and fall with the wind.
Welcome to Today
-Evan
I will fall and be felled, as will you. I will move and be moved, by and with you.
Today I shift my weight and fall this way; tomorrow I hold my weight and fall with the wind.
Welcome to Today
-Evan
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Hump Day
Today I had no obligations until 4:00 pm. I was excited at the opportunity to get a lot done: clean my car, clean up around the house, and write some music. I ended up sleeping until 2:00 pm because I didn't set an alarm clock.
How often does that happen?
I'm 21. I have plenty of time to accomplish what I want to. Unless I sleep in.
What kind of alarm clocks can we have in life?
What sort of urgency does it take to accomplish our dreams?
How can we ensure that we won't sleep past our windows of opportunity?
It's hump day. What can you accomplish by the end of this week?
Welcome to Today.
-Evan
How often does that happen?
I'm 21. I have plenty of time to accomplish what I want to. Unless I sleep in.
What kind of alarm clocks can we have in life?
What sort of urgency does it take to accomplish our dreams?
How can we ensure that we won't sleep past our windows of opportunity?
It's hump day. What can you accomplish by the end of this week?
Welcome to Today.
-Evan
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Evan
I filled a glass with sand. There were a few pockets of air, but other than those, the sand formed perfectly to the glass. I relocated the sand into another glass, one of completely different shape. The sand once again formed to the glass. I then brought the sand back to the original container. As predicted, the sand formed back to the original glass. Always the same sand, but always forming to the container around it.
This is a story of Evan.
I lived 21 years in the exact same containers: West Michigan; Grand Rapids; Christian Church; Ripley Family; Benjamin. Always the same containers, so on the surface people would see the same sand. But something subtle has changed. I have encountered different people, different glasses of sand, and I have acquired some of their sand while leaving some of my own. By encountering these people, we have shared ideas and we have influenced each other. So now there is a different set of sand, but it is perceived the same because it is in the same container. The new sand even acted like the old sand some times.
It was time to change the container.
I love my family; I love Grand Rapids.
Benjamin embodies Benjamin's ideas. Evan embodies Evan's ideas. They are different.
After experiencing some life, and learning from the people I came in contact with, I changed many of the things I believed about the world. Benjamin believed certain things, Evan believes different things.
Welcome to Today.
-Evan
This is a story of Evan.
I lived 21 years in the exact same containers: West Michigan; Grand Rapids; Christian Church; Ripley Family; Benjamin. Always the same containers, so on the surface people would see the same sand. But something subtle has changed. I have encountered different people, different glasses of sand, and I have acquired some of their sand while leaving some of my own. By encountering these people, we have shared ideas and we have influenced each other. So now there is a different set of sand, but it is perceived the same because it is in the same container. The new sand even acted like the old sand some times.
It was time to change the container.
I love my family; I love Grand Rapids.
Benjamin embodies Benjamin's ideas. Evan embodies Evan's ideas. They are different.
After experiencing some life, and learning from the people I came in contact with, I changed many of the things I believed about the world. Benjamin believed certain things, Evan believes different things.
Welcome to Today.
-Evan
Monday, October 8, 2012
Cold and Dark, all the same
We live in a society that tells people who they should be. We live in a society where people can take their personal, political and religious beliefs, and push them upon others. We live in a society that preaches community, but is just as cut throat as any that has ever been. We live in a society with slaves and castles. We live in a society with wars tearing people apart (some known, but many unspoken). Nothing has ever changed in the human race, and I doubt anything will.
Corporate greed is a real thing.
Those with money own the poor.
If a poor man changes his stars, and "makes it" in the standards of this society, there are other who benefit by his success significantly more than he does. The producer of the artist, the CEO of the business man.
Politicians ride on the backs of their enslaved armies. It is a war, a battle that tears this country in two. Democrats hold office, and then His Majesty Romney comes forward, armed with an army of republicans. The republicans seek to take back Washington as if it were Jerusalem, and tear down the idols left by the democrats. They wish to change this country to fit their ideals.
Democrats are holding up inside their castle walls. They hope to destroy Romney and his army.
There are wars between races and socio-economic stati. These are unspoken. The bottom rung of the ladder resents the rung just above it. The rung just above it feels as if it is just as far down as the bottom. The rung in the middle of the ladder feels it is at the bottom. The rung at the bottom of the top 1% of the ladder feels it is at the bottom.
Today I am cold. Jacket, blanket, hat. Cold.
In California, the state signed a bill into law that prohibits doctors from practicing gay reversal therapy for people under the age of 18. Good work California. Parents who make their youths go through this sort of therapy are hurting their children. Imagine if everything inside your body told you that you were a hat, but everybody in the world told you that you had to be a shoe.
In America, we think that our philosophy of freedom is so much better than everybody else's. We are wrong. It looks like freedom, but is just as controlled and twisted as any other culture in the world.
I don't know if everything that I think is true, but here is what I know to be true:
Freedom will never be presented to you by a society. It will never be presented to you by a family or a friend. Freedom is something you must take. It is there for everyone, and it must be seized. It is YOUR freedom. Nobody can give it to you, and nobody can take it from you.
In your darkest moments, you have the freedom of choice. It is yours, and nobody can do anything about that.
Benjamin was a slave.
Evan is rising in freedom.
Cold and dark, all the same; welcome to Today
-Evan
Corporate greed is a real thing.
Those with money own the poor.
If a poor man changes his stars, and "makes it" in the standards of this society, there are other who benefit by his success significantly more than he does. The producer of the artist, the CEO of the business man.
Politicians ride on the backs of their enslaved armies. It is a war, a battle that tears this country in two. Democrats hold office, and then His Majesty Romney comes forward, armed with an army of republicans. The republicans seek to take back Washington as if it were Jerusalem, and tear down the idols left by the democrats. They wish to change this country to fit their ideals.
Democrats are holding up inside their castle walls. They hope to destroy Romney and his army.
There are wars between races and socio-economic stati. These are unspoken. The bottom rung of the ladder resents the rung just above it. The rung just above it feels as if it is just as far down as the bottom. The rung in the middle of the ladder feels it is at the bottom. The rung at the bottom of the top 1% of the ladder feels it is at the bottom.
Today I am cold. Jacket, blanket, hat. Cold.
In California, the state signed a bill into law that prohibits doctors from practicing gay reversal therapy for people under the age of 18. Good work California. Parents who make their youths go through this sort of therapy are hurting their children. Imagine if everything inside your body told you that you were a hat, but everybody in the world told you that you had to be a shoe.
In America, we think that our philosophy of freedom is so much better than everybody else's. We are wrong. It looks like freedom, but is just as controlled and twisted as any other culture in the world.
I don't know if everything that I think is true, but here is what I know to be true:
Freedom will never be presented to you by a society. It will never be presented to you by a family or a friend. Freedom is something you must take. It is there for everyone, and it must be seized. It is YOUR freedom. Nobody can give it to you, and nobody can take it from you.
In your darkest moments, you have the freedom of choice. It is yours, and nobody can do anything about that.
Benjamin was a slave.
Evan is rising in freedom.
Cold and dark, all the same; welcome to Today
-Evan
Sunday, October 7, 2012
A New Look; A New Name: post 100
When I first made this blog, the title was just a clever title, but it has evolved since then. "A Thousand Thoughts From Here" is a description of my subconscious condition. I am constantly following trails of thoughts that lead me one way or another, but I rarely acknowledge the thoughts to the people around me. The blog has a new sub-title too: "the deep end of my mind." This thought is an expansion of the blog title, and in this new look I will venture into the deep ends of my mind; in this new chapter of this blog, I will show you how far the rabbit trail leads.
The ultimate idea that my mind dwells on right now is the idea of the phoenix. When the phoenix dies, it bursts into flames, but from the flames a new phoenix is born. The idea that my mind dwells on is that life is hard, death is a part of existence, but the world continues, and even with all the negative (the flames, and the ashes), there is always a flower blooming, or a new life being born. In the depths of our suffering, there are other energies, there is an upward motion for every downward motion.
I hope that this journey focuses on the positives, while acknowledging the negatives. I hope that this journey takes me and my readers through a set of difficult questions, and makes us better for it when we emerge.
Welcome to today.
-Evan
P.S. I also decided to go by my middle name: "Evan." I will cover that in a later post.
The ultimate idea that my mind dwells on right now is the idea of the phoenix. When the phoenix dies, it bursts into flames, but from the flames a new phoenix is born. The idea that my mind dwells on is that life is hard, death is a part of existence, but the world continues, and even with all the negative (the flames, and the ashes), there is always a flower blooming, or a new life being born. In the depths of our suffering, there are other energies, there is an upward motion for every downward motion.
I hope that this journey focuses on the positives, while acknowledging the negatives. I hope that this journey takes me and my readers through a set of difficult questions, and makes us better for it when we emerge.
Welcome to today.
-Evan
P.S. I also decided to go by my middle name: "Evan." I will cover that in a later post.
Unplugged
This summer I decided that I would not return to Calvin in the Fall. My original plan was to attend GRCC and do some core classes during the Fall. However, after even more thought and even more life I decided to take the semester off entirely and work full time. So during that special time of year, when all the students are returning to town to prepare for classes I was not. I was working.
Around the same time I decided to go to GRCC, I deleted my Facebook. As far as many of my Calvin friends were concerned, I simply disappeared. A vanishing act. But I feel that leaving Facebook was good for me. It helped me to be less plugged in to the meaningless meanderings of my friends and acquaintances, and helped me to be more plugged in to the world that truly surrounded me.
I think that my life is better without Facebook.
Then, two nights ago, I lost my phone. I had to wake up this morning and send my friends e-mails instead of text messages. It's as if I am living in an earlier time: a simpler time.
But the strangest thing is this: now that I do not have a phone, I notice everyone else on their phones. It's crazy how plugged in everyone is. Always on their phones. Always looking down, when there is a whole world of colors and sounds to greet them if they would just look up.
I'm not about to say that phones are objectively bad, but loosing mine for this short time has made me notice some things.
Being unplugged has been a good thing.
We take convenience for granted.
Maybe you should try it some time.
-Evan
Around the same time I decided to go to GRCC, I deleted my Facebook. As far as many of my Calvin friends were concerned, I simply disappeared. A vanishing act. But I feel that leaving Facebook was good for me. It helped me to be less plugged in to the meaningless meanderings of my friends and acquaintances, and helped me to be more plugged in to the world that truly surrounded me.
I think that my life is better without Facebook.
Then, two nights ago, I lost my phone. I had to wake up this morning and send my friends e-mails instead of text messages. It's as if I am living in an earlier time: a simpler time.
But the strangest thing is this: now that I do not have a phone, I notice everyone else on their phones. It's crazy how plugged in everyone is. Always on their phones. Always looking down, when there is a whole world of colors and sounds to greet them if they would just look up.
I'm not about to say that phones are objectively bad, but loosing mine for this short time has made me notice some things.
Being unplugged has been a good thing.
We take convenience for granted.
Maybe you should try it some time.
-Evan
Thursday, September 27, 2012
What if Alcohol was Made Illegal?
<p>What would you do if the government, on a state or federal level made alcohol illegal? You would protest and fight until it was legal again. Why would the government get to decide what I, a 21 year old person, get to ingest? Why do they get to tell me that I cannot drink alcohol?</p>
<p>Now, alcohol is a drug. It effects people's state of mind. When people foolishly decide to drive under its effects, it often causes accidents, sometimes leading to death of both parties. Alcohol is a depressant. It causes people to be numb to the world, and exasperates many people's already difficult depression. It also has many recorded instances of dependence. So much so that many families have been ruined, and other negative effects have come from it. Not to mention that detoxing from alcohol can lead to seizures, brain damage, and in some cases, death.</p>
<p>Step back. </p>
<p>Marijuana is a drug. It has many proven medical uses (numerous of which have been proven by research funded by our federal government, findings that our government does not want you to know about). Marijuana has no proven negative side effects: it befuddles the mind, and relaxes the body.
Marijuana has no lethal dose.
Marijuana does not encourage, or cause crime or violence.
Marijuana is a street drug, funding the Mexican cartels, other gangs and drug dealers. Marijuana prohibition has been going on for nearly 80 years, and marijuana on the streets has been easier to come by than alcohol.
Marijuana prohibition costs tax payers money, and fuels gangs and drug dealers. It has failed.
Legalize, regulate and tax in order to get it off the streets and have it benefit America instead of hurt America.
Think about it,
-Evan
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Federal Government Uses Tax Dollars to Destroy the Jobs of Law-Abiding Citizens.
In California, there are medical marijuana dispensaries that are being shut down by the Federal Government. This is infuriating and scary because the issue of medical marijuana is supposed to be a state issue. Not only is the federal government micro-managing on inappropriate levels, but it is using tax dollars to destroy jobs. Let your voice be heard. Marijuana prohibition has failed. Decriminalize, legalize, tax, and regulate marijuana on a state level.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/01/us/hundreds-of-california-medical-marijuana-shops-close.html?pagewanted=all&_moc.semityn.www
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/01/us/hundreds-of-california-medical-marijuana-shops-close.html?pagewanted=all&_moc.semityn.www
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