Well. I said I would organize myself, and I did. This has allowed me 1 hour breaks for 4 days a week. :)
The best part about these breaks is that I know when I am going to do everything, I know that everything is going to get done, so I can just relax and be at peace for an hour each day (almost). This, I think is far better then a day when a person rests for 4 hours, but the entire time they are filled with anxiety. Of course, I can never get music out of my head, so I am still thinking about it in that sense... but that is pure enjoyment.
Oh, and did I mention 8 and a half hours of sleep (that is, if I am good and finish all of my work on time) 3 days a week?
Perhaps, someday I will write a song cycle... all of this a-tonal music is inspiring me... it is such a fragile art: with one slip of the composers mind, or performers hand, the piece can be ruined. Everything must be perfect, and then, for some unknown reason, this seemingly random assembly of notes (that in fact is not random at all, nor anymore mathematical then tonal music) reaches you deeply. For every master of Baroque there was a master of Classical... Romantic... A-tonal.
Just a thought :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Buzz Buzz Buzz...
This semester I have been moving at a million miles per minute, and I like it. But now I am on spring break. Everything slowed down, and I feel like I cannot even function. Even now, trying to write this blog post, my mind just wants me to move onto something else. I cannot engage my own thoughts at the moment because my mind has moved past them. So this post, I suppose, is primarily an attempt to slow my mind down.
I am trying to write this 15 page research paper, and I am having the same problem. I feel like I cannot gain momentum. I feel like i am a bee that has been buzzing and buzzing and buzzing, but now someone has asked me to push a rock. With all the energy that a bee exerts in a day, there is no way that a bee could push a rock (I'm thinking about a baseball sized rock). So who is the stronger? The one who can push the rock or the one who can buzz around all day? Which takes more energy? Or is different, once again, simply different?
I'm not going to answer any of those questions... not even going to try.
So I'm this bee still. I have been buzzing and buzzing collecting pollen, or doing whatever it is that bees do these days. Then this kid named spring break comes along with big glasses and a jar, and captures me in the jar. At first I am going nuts. Buzzing and buzzing, flying into this wall, then this one. I know that I am trapped, but I need to be able to go, I have things I have to do. So I buzz into every possible surface of the inside of the jar. All the while the kid, spring break, is just laughing at me with his stupid big glasses.
As you can tell, I am frustrated about this.
But I am also realizing that maybe, just maybe this is a good thing. Being forced to SSLLOOWW DDOOWWNN (how long did it take you to read that?). Take longer to do things, take breaks, think, engage my mind, read... read? yes. read.
Or perhaps this is a taste of mediocrity. That poison I have been trying desperately to avoid by buzzing... or perhaps someone can buzz all they want, but the true mediocrity is accomplishing the world and losing yourself. Who is this buzzing bee? Just another bee? Or is this bee still Ben Ripley? Does this bee still have purpose and soul and life to live and love to give?
Can I move from buzzing bee with no time to do anything but buzz, constantly fearing the days to come when he knows there is more homework, another paper, another late night followed by another early morning... buzz buzz buzz. Can I move from that to more organized, pushing harder, and slowing down? Actually planning time in my day, every day, to slow down. To do things that do not actually have meaning?
But that is time I could be spending practicing...
Perhaps this would have done better as a journal entry then a blog post?
Oh well.
It's a blog post. And since it is, what are the readers takes on this? Is it worth it to slow down? Someone else somewhere else is aspiring for the same things that I am, but they are not slowing down. Will they win? Or will they lose themselves in the buzz? Is the buzz a good thing? Can we buzz and buzz and not lose ourselves in the process? Is a 20 minute lunch enough time to slow down for the day? Does it count if all I am thinking about is what I have to do that day?
And I retire to the warm grips of sleep, to begin work early on my research paper tomorrow.
Enjoy the peace or buzzing or whatever it is you chose today.
-Ben
I am trying to write this 15 page research paper, and I am having the same problem. I feel like I cannot gain momentum. I feel like i am a bee that has been buzzing and buzzing and buzzing, but now someone has asked me to push a rock. With all the energy that a bee exerts in a day, there is no way that a bee could push a rock (I'm thinking about a baseball sized rock). So who is the stronger? The one who can push the rock or the one who can buzz around all day? Which takes more energy? Or is different, once again, simply different?
I'm not going to answer any of those questions... not even going to try.
So I'm this bee still. I have been buzzing and buzzing collecting pollen, or doing whatever it is that bees do these days. Then this kid named spring break comes along with big glasses and a jar, and captures me in the jar. At first I am going nuts. Buzzing and buzzing, flying into this wall, then this one. I know that I am trapped, but I need to be able to go, I have things I have to do. So I buzz into every possible surface of the inside of the jar. All the while the kid, spring break, is just laughing at me with his stupid big glasses.
As you can tell, I am frustrated about this.
But I am also realizing that maybe, just maybe this is a good thing. Being forced to SSLLOOWW DDOOWWNN (how long did it take you to read that?). Take longer to do things, take breaks, think, engage my mind, read... read? yes. read.
Or perhaps this is a taste of mediocrity. That poison I have been trying desperately to avoid by buzzing... or perhaps someone can buzz all they want, but the true mediocrity is accomplishing the world and losing yourself. Who is this buzzing bee? Just another bee? Or is this bee still Ben Ripley? Does this bee still have purpose and soul and life to live and love to give?
Can I move from buzzing bee with no time to do anything but buzz, constantly fearing the days to come when he knows there is more homework, another paper, another late night followed by another early morning... buzz buzz buzz. Can I move from that to more organized, pushing harder, and slowing down? Actually planning time in my day, every day, to slow down. To do things that do not actually have meaning?
But that is time I could be spending practicing...
Perhaps this would have done better as a journal entry then a blog post?
Oh well.
It's a blog post. And since it is, what are the readers takes on this? Is it worth it to slow down? Someone else somewhere else is aspiring for the same things that I am, but they are not slowing down. Will they win? Or will they lose themselves in the buzz? Is the buzz a good thing? Can we buzz and buzz and not lose ourselves in the process? Is a 20 minute lunch enough time to slow down for the day? Does it count if all I am thinking about is what I have to do that day?
And I retire to the warm grips of sleep, to begin work early on my research paper tomorrow.
Enjoy the peace or buzzing or whatever it is you chose today.
-Ben
The Ontological Response to Toilet Seat Position
In this post I will prove through a series of pros why the best position for the toilet seat is all the way up.
1. When the toilet seat is all the way down, the toilet bowl becomes entirely inaccessible without the touching of the toilet. (P)
2. When the toilet seat is touched, the hands that touch the seat ought to be washed. (P)
3. The uses of the toilet when one seat is down (seat down, but cover up), are all uses in which the user will have need of washing their hands (P)
4. When the toilet seat is entirely up, all the uses that require the toilet seat to be touched are uses in which the user has need of washing their hands. (P)
5. When the toilet seat is entirely up, the only use in which the toilet seat need not be touched is the use that does not necessitate the washing of the hands. (p)
6. The toilet seat being all the way down requires the washing of the hands (1, 2)
7. The toilet seat being one down requires the washing of the hands (2, 3)
8. The toilet seat being all the way up does not always require the washing of the hands (2, 5)
9. The washing of the hands requires the use of more water (P)
10. The washing of the hands takes up time (P)
11. Money and time are valuable (P)
12. Putting the seat all the way up saves money and time (8, 9, 10, 11)
I don't feel like doing more, because it has been forever since my limited exposure to philosophy, as you can see by the inefficient, and somewhat inconclusive pros. However, you can see my way of thinking that the best position for the toilet seat is up.
1. When the toilet seat is all the way down, the toilet bowl becomes entirely inaccessible without the touching of the toilet. (P)
2. When the toilet seat is touched, the hands that touch the seat ought to be washed. (P)
3. The uses of the toilet when one seat is down (seat down, but cover up), are all uses in which the user will have need of washing their hands (P)
4. When the toilet seat is entirely up, all the uses that require the toilet seat to be touched are uses in which the user has need of washing their hands. (P)
5. When the toilet seat is entirely up, the only use in which the toilet seat need not be touched is the use that does not necessitate the washing of the hands. (p)
6. The toilet seat being all the way down requires the washing of the hands (1, 2)
7. The toilet seat being one down requires the washing of the hands (2, 3)
8. The toilet seat being all the way up does not always require the washing of the hands (2, 5)
9. The washing of the hands requires the use of more water (P)
10. The washing of the hands takes up time (P)
11. Money and time are valuable (P)
12. Putting the seat all the way up saves money and time (8, 9, 10, 11)
I don't feel like doing more, because it has been forever since my limited exposure to philosophy, as you can see by the inefficient, and somewhat inconclusive pros. However, you can see my way of thinking that the best position for the toilet seat is up.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Loss for Words
I heard this incredible story today on the radio of a man who, days before his 40th birthday, decided he wanted to help someone. So he thought about how he could help people, what skills he possessed, and he thought that he would be good at locating something in this area he knew better then anyone in California. So he thought that an earth quake would happen, and he would help people, or a helicopter would be downed and he would help find it. As days passed, he realized there were no natural disasters coming and he would have to think more about how to help someone. So he logged onto the news and typed in "lost." The first thing to come up was a lost person report: a man and his wife murdered their landlords and kidnapped their daughter from their grandparents. They fled.
So the guy instantly knew what he was supposed to do, he was going to help find these people. After some communicating with the police, he realized that they had given up on the case and he was going to have to go for it himself. He took a vacation week from his work and got onto this new job he had taken on. He printed off some fliers and got to work. Long story short, he found them in 2 days and went to the local police who apprehended and arrested them. He spend some time with the family in jail, and as he spent more time with them he learned some things. The children were happy. They loved their parents. The parents did not seem like murderers or criminals of any type... they just seemed like parents. Then the children went back to their grandparents' (where they were kidnapped from), and upon seeing the grandparents' house the man remarked that it did not seem fit for children, and the grandparents were quite negative people.
At the offset of his mission, this man felt like a hero, like a knight riding in on a white horse: by the time he accomplished his goal he felt more like a nuisance, like he should not have been there, like he was breaking something.
There are so many nuances and details that I left out for the sake of length, but this seems to be reality. When we look into a situation without first living the situation we cannot in any measure understand the situation. At any glance of this story you would assume that this was perfect justice, but on some underlying level, something went terribly wrong. The conventional, easy rules of society can distance us from the reality of people. I cannot begin to wrap my mind around this concept entirely, but it seems to me that every time one man sees justice another sees cruelty.
And I'm not trying to condemn the conventional rules of society, though I know that they are flawed. I know that they protect us, and were at one point put into place for the betterment of society. But, again, even these rules that were put into place with the absolute best intentions ... someone will be cheated... someone will lose. And most of us will never hear about it.
There is this human factor in all of us. I was thinking about this the other day: what if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, what if someone was murdered, and every bit of evidence pointed to you, and you had no alibi. There would be nothing that you could do to get around the fate incurred upon you.
Sorry about the scatter brain...
So the guy instantly knew what he was supposed to do, he was going to help find these people. After some communicating with the police, he realized that they had given up on the case and he was going to have to go for it himself. He took a vacation week from his work and got onto this new job he had taken on. He printed off some fliers and got to work. Long story short, he found them in 2 days and went to the local police who apprehended and arrested them. He spend some time with the family in jail, and as he spent more time with them he learned some things. The children were happy. They loved their parents. The parents did not seem like murderers or criminals of any type... they just seemed like parents. Then the children went back to their grandparents' (where they were kidnapped from), and upon seeing the grandparents' house the man remarked that it did not seem fit for children, and the grandparents were quite negative people.
At the offset of his mission, this man felt like a hero, like a knight riding in on a white horse: by the time he accomplished his goal he felt more like a nuisance, like he should not have been there, like he was breaking something.
There are so many nuances and details that I left out for the sake of length, but this seems to be reality. When we look into a situation without first living the situation we cannot in any measure understand the situation. At any glance of this story you would assume that this was perfect justice, but on some underlying level, something went terribly wrong. The conventional, easy rules of society can distance us from the reality of people. I cannot begin to wrap my mind around this concept entirely, but it seems to me that every time one man sees justice another sees cruelty.
And I'm not trying to condemn the conventional rules of society, though I know that they are flawed. I know that they protect us, and were at one point put into place for the betterment of society. But, again, even these rules that were put into place with the absolute best intentions ... someone will be cheated... someone will lose. And most of us will never hear about it.
There is this human factor in all of us. I was thinking about this the other day: what if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, what if someone was murdered, and every bit of evidence pointed to you, and you had no alibi. There would be nothing that you could do to get around the fate incurred upon you.
Sorry about the scatter brain...
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I Dare You to Take it.
I have been asking myself lately, when I see people like Bernstein, or research about people like Beethoven, how they got to where they did, how they accomplished where many failed. I look at Franz Schubert: died at the age of 31, wrote some 600 songs, 7 (or 8?) symphonies, 21 complete piano sonatas (as well as some short dances), five operas, six masses... and I'm sure that I'm missing something. How did he get to that point? Many people aspire to greatness, but settle in mediocrity: how is it that these great figures of our society and history got to where they did?
They took the first step.
Then, after they had taken the first step, they took the next one. One foot in front of the other. They fell down, and they got back up. Robert Schumann wrote Dichterliebe in 6 days, and he was denied by 4 (I think) publishers over the course of 4 years before he got it published. Schumann's Dichterliebe is now considered one of the greatest romantic song cycles, and it is studied by theorists, performers and historians. Schumann thought that the writing of songs was childish, and he stuck to mainly composing piano music. But in one year, after finally attempting to write songs, he wrote over 200 songs which are now considered great.
My greatest fear in life is to end in mediocrity. And I have slowly been reshaping and defining what mediocrity means to me, but my latest definition is this: mediocrity is when we stop dreaming, and we stop taking those steps towards our dreams. It doesn't matter if there is 1 mile ahead of you, or 700 miles: the only way to get there is to put one foot in front of the other.
What does the first step (or the next step) look like to you? Did you stop someplace along the way? Did you ever embark in the first place?
It is never too late or too early to take the next step.
They took the first step.
Then, after they had taken the first step, they took the next one. One foot in front of the other. They fell down, and they got back up. Robert Schumann wrote Dichterliebe in 6 days, and he was denied by 4 (I think) publishers over the course of 4 years before he got it published. Schumann's Dichterliebe is now considered one of the greatest romantic song cycles, and it is studied by theorists, performers and historians. Schumann thought that the writing of songs was childish, and he stuck to mainly composing piano music. But in one year, after finally attempting to write songs, he wrote over 200 songs which are now considered great.
My greatest fear in life is to end in mediocrity. And I have slowly been reshaping and defining what mediocrity means to me, but my latest definition is this: mediocrity is when we stop dreaming, and we stop taking those steps towards our dreams. It doesn't matter if there is 1 mile ahead of you, or 700 miles: the only way to get there is to put one foot in front of the other.
What does the first step (or the next step) look like to you? Did you stop someplace along the way? Did you ever embark in the first place?
It is never too late or too early to take the next step.
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