Sometime last week I posted a C.S. Lewis quote on my Facebook wall that I felt was an accurate assessment of my life this semester. The quote is from his book The Screw Tape Letters, and is a reflection from a man with a wasted life: "I now see that I spent most of my life in doing neither what I ought nor what I liked."
For me, these events include (but are not limited to): sitting on Facebook, browsing random web pages, watching youtube videos, and playing games on my phone/iPod. These kinds of activities are the ones that will make me fall into my life's greatest fear: complacency.
The interesting thing is that I did nothing to make any change to my life, even after realizing I was spending so much time doing "neither what I ought nor what I like." I think that it took the inspiration of a friend who was excited about something. A friend of mine who works with me at the Fish House (coffee shop) has gotten extremely excited about making Latte art. His excitement was contagious, and I found myself excited about it too.
They call this "inspiration"
From that spark of excitement, I was no longer just going to work and serve coffee, but I began "working on my Latte art." I was (and am) working to offer a better service to people, and to improve myself. This little idea took flame into my entire life: it rejuvenated my practice time; it made me decide to get my hair cut; it made me excited about the idea of doing things in my life at a higher quality; it made me realize that I could be a better me.
It seems to me that we are either improving ourselves, or we are falling into complacency. Where can you work to improve yourself today? How can you work to make your immediate world a more beautiful place? What can you do to make the people you see today smile? Who can you inspire today?
Be the best you you can today.
-Ben
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Leaving For a Bit: My Ode to Capella
So tomorrow - or rather later today, because it is already Wednesday the 4th of January - I am going to drive, bus, and fly, and according to some very reliable sources I will end up in Hong Kong. The choir that I sing in will be touring Asia, singing in Hong Kong, China, the Philippines and Singapore. I have known about this tour for somewhere around a year and a half now, and have been anticipating it as if it would be the highlight of my life thus far. The odd thing is how my perception of what this tour is, and what this tour will mean for me has changed so significantly over the past year and a half.
At first it was this glorious event: this choir was going to be traveling around and performing, and our audiences would be wowed to the point of demanding an encore at every performance. We were going to be superstars. I imagined something to the grandeur of Chanticleer. However, Chanticleer happens to be a professional ensemble, and we are only a collegiate ensemble. Regardless, we were going to be great.
Then my perception shifted, and the tour became about seeing the world. I was going to four different Asian countries! What an extraordinary opportunity. I would see all of the sights, and engage in the culture. I would experience the day time splendor and the night time fiesta of these different countries. Most incredible of all, I would be visiting Manila with THE Joel Navarro: pop star extraordinaire. It was going to be absolutely life changing.
But earlier today (or... yesterday, rather), I was sitting in the lobby of the CFAC next to one of the tenors in my choir, and all of the Capella members (save the ones who we are meeting up with in California) began pouring into the lobby. I was filled immediately with some sort of joy, or jubilance that was life giving. These were people I had missed, and it seemed to me that life was once more returning to my body after a long drought. This is truly going to be something extraordinary.
This tour is going to be a glorious event of performances; this tour is going to be an extraordinary opportunity of world travel; but the thing that makes this tour one of the highlights of my life thus far is that I am doing both of these things with around 40 of my closest friends.
With love and anticipation
-Ben
At first it was this glorious event: this choir was going to be traveling around and performing, and our audiences would be wowed to the point of demanding an encore at every performance. We were going to be superstars. I imagined something to the grandeur of Chanticleer. However, Chanticleer happens to be a professional ensemble, and we are only a collegiate ensemble. Regardless, we were going to be great.
Then my perception shifted, and the tour became about seeing the world. I was going to four different Asian countries! What an extraordinary opportunity. I would see all of the sights, and engage in the culture. I would experience the day time splendor and the night time fiesta of these different countries. Most incredible of all, I would be visiting Manila with THE Joel Navarro: pop star extraordinaire. It was going to be absolutely life changing.
But earlier today (or... yesterday, rather), I was sitting in the lobby of the CFAC next to one of the tenors in my choir, and all of the Capella members (save the ones who we are meeting up with in California) began pouring into the lobby. I was filled immediately with some sort of joy, or jubilance that was life giving. These were people I had missed, and it seemed to me that life was once more returning to my body after a long drought. This is truly going to be something extraordinary.
This tour is going to be a glorious event of performances; this tour is going to be an extraordinary opportunity of world travel; but the thing that makes this tour one of the highlights of my life thus far is that I am doing both of these things with around 40 of my closest friends.
With love and anticipation
-Ben
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
A Christmas Story
What Christmas celebration stands out in your mind? Is is a certain tradition? Is it a certain gift? Is it a certain person/group of people?
Last year I had a Christmas celebration that sits more fondly in my mind than most. It was like nothing I had ever done before: no gifts, no church service, none of the "usual" people, one person I hardly knew, and one person I had never before met.
Four of the people there were family: one aunt, and three cousins. No uncle. No dad/mom. Through an unfortunate series of events I ended up at this house for Christmas eve. First there was the divorce. Then some eight years later I moved in with my dad. Then the next year I moved in with my sister, and finally ended up at my Aunt and Uncle's. Then a separation turned it from my Aunt and Uncle's to my Aunt's. We were brought together by brokenness.
Then the two strangers: both people who worked with my Aunt, but each person from the other of the two jobs my Aunt worked. The first lived with us for a time. She had just gotten a divorce, and had nowhere really to go. She told me later that this Christmas was so strange because nobody was drunk... that had been all she knew until this Christmas. The second was going to be alone for Christmas. She and her mom had gotten into a fight, and her mom went up north to be with family without her. She didn't even have a car. All seven of us were brought together by brokenness.
Seven broken people, with broken pasts leading them to the oddest of Christmas dinners. We sat down to an impressive meal, and enjoyed talking and story telling. For some reason, every single person in that house fit together, we became some oddly assorted family. We laughed more than I had for a long time. We did not exchange any gifts, or go to a Christmas eve service. We simply spent time together, and enjoyed each other. We forgot about our pasts and our presents, and we just existed together.
The love that was in that house was sonorous and tangible like a Beethoven symphony.
With love for all on this Holiday season, my hope is for every person to get a moment to spend with people. Maybe not the people you had hoped for, maybe not the people you could have possibly guessed, but just people. And I hope that everyone can enjoy a moment of love similar to mine.
Merry, happy, blessed ChristmaKwanzaaHanukkah to all.
Last year I had a Christmas celebration that sits more fondly in my mind than most. It was like nothing I had ever done before: no gifts, no church service, none of the "usual" people, one person I hardly knew, and one person I had never before met.
Four of the people there were family: one aunt, and three cousins. No uncle. No dad/mom. Through an unfortunate series of events I ended up at this house for Christmas eve. First there was the divorce. Then some eight years later I moved in with my dad. Then the next year I moved in with my sister, and finally ended up at my Aunt and Uncle's. Then a separation turned it from my Aunt and Uncle's to my Aunt's. We were brought together by brokenness.
Then the two strangers: both people who worked with my Aunt, but each person from the other of the two jobs my Aunt worked. The first lived with us for a time. She had just gotten a divorce, and had nowhere really to go. She told me later that this Christmas was so strange because nobody was drunk... that had been all she knew until this Christmas. The second was going to be alone for Christmas. She and her mom had gotten into a fight, and her mom went up north to be with family without her. She didn't even have a car. All seven of us were brought together by brokenness.
Seven broken people, with broken pasts leading them to the oddest of Christmas dinners. We sat down to an impressive meal, and enjoyed talking and story telling. For some reason, every single person in that house fit together, we became some oddly assorted family. We laughed more than I had for a long time. We did not exchange any gifts, or go to a Christmas eve service. We simply spent time together, and enjoyed each other. We forgot about our pasts and our presents, and we just existed together.
The love that was in that house was sonorous and tangible like a Beethoven symphony.
With love for all on this Holiday season, my hope is for every person to get a moment to spend with people. Maybe not the people you had hoped for, maybe not the people you could have possibly guessed, but just people. And I hope that everyone can enjoy a moment of love similar to mine.
Merry, happy, blessed ChristmaKwanzaaHanukkah to all.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Today I am Thankful
Today I am thankful for all of the people whose shoulders we now stand on. Some for the better, some for the worse, but all of them bring us to the world we now know. A world divided: a perfect juxtaposition between all things good and all things terrible.
A few years ago I was talking with a good friend of mine about my parents' divorce. We talked about the ways in which the divorce made me who I am, about all of the negative and the positive. Yes, even in this terrible event that happened in my life, there is positive. At the end of the conversation, he asked me if I could go back and live my life without the divorce if I would. I answered that I couldn't, because the divorce set my life into the path which it took, and without the divorce; without that path, I would not be me.
If we looked back and took the good, and not the bad we would not be us. The world is not what it should be. Evil should not be allowed to prevail, and it is tragic that it does. However, the world we live in is beautiful. People are evil, but people love. People are ugly, but people are beautiful. Our past is terrible, but our past is good.
Today I am thankful for EVERYTHING that has brought me to where I am. The falls and the triumphs. I encourage you to think harder this year on this day of thanks. Think deeper this year, and consider what you take for granted; or even deeper, think of the things that you have looked upon with a bad taste in your mouth, and ask yourself if you can find a way to be thankful for those moments.
Today I am thankful for YOU.
Love and blessings.
-Ben
A few years ago I was talking with a good friend of mine about my parents' divorce. We talked about the ways in which the divorce made me who I am, about all of the negative and the positive. Yes, even in this terrible event that happened in my life, there is positive. At the end of the conversation, he asked me if I could go back and live my life without the divorce if I would. I answered that I couldn't, because the divorce set my life into the path which it took, and without the divorce; without that path, I would not be me.
If we looked back and took the good, and not the bad we would not be us. The world is not what it should be. Evil should not be allowed to prevail, and it is tragic that it does. However, the world we live in is beautiful. People are evil, but people love. People are ugly, but people are beautiful. Our past is terrible, but our past is good.
Today I am thankful for EVERYTHING that has brought me to where I am. The falls and the triumphs. I encourage you to think harder this year on this day of thanks. Think deeper this year, and consider what you take for granted; or even deeper, think of the things that you have looked upon with a bad taste in your mouth, and ask yourself if you can find a way to be thankful for those moments.
Today I am thankful for YOU.
Love and blessings.
-Ben
Sunday, November 6, 2011
A Storm Past, A Storm to Come.
I sat there in a stall in the men's room: the only place on the planet where nobody else would join me; the only place where the filth on the floor made me feel at home. Was that the best I could have done? Regardless, that was the best I did. What does that say about me? My head in my hands, no tears, just pure disappointment. Had I only started sooner. Had I only worked harder.
I had disappointed some of the most inspiring people I had ever met. Some of the people I cared most about at that moment. People invested in me and I let them down.
That was the worst moment of my life.
Every day I get a choice. Am I busy? of course. Am I tired? ...still. Am I depressed? sometimes.
Do I still get my choice? Absolutely.
Every day I get a choice, whether I am going to be the best I can possibly be on that day or not. That is the choice. Every morning, from the moment my alarm clock rings I toe the line of another day. This day brings a new challenge, but as I toe this line I am offered the same choice I was yesterday. Do I choose to be the best I possibly can, or do I choose to be the other?
It's that simple too. There is no middle ground. Not for me, at least. If I choose to be anything less than the best that I can be, I am choosing mediocrity, and that is the biggest let down I can give to myself and everyone around me.
The week before I sat in that stall I had plenty of times to make a better choice. The month before... the year before. I came up short because I chose to.
I never want to sit there again and see the filth on the floor as my equal.
Monday I choose.
Tuesday I choose.
Wednesday I choose,
Thursday I choose.
Friday I choose.
Saturday I choose.
Sunday I choose.
That storm is past. Bring on the next.
I had disappointed some of the most inspiring people I had ever met. Some of the people I cared most about at that moment. People invested in me and I let them down.
That was the worst moment of my life.
Every day I get a choice. Am I busy? of course. Am I tired? ...still. Am I depressed? sometimes.
Do I still get my choice? Absolutely.
Every day I get a choice, whether I am going to be the best I can possibly be on that day or not. That is the choice. Every morning, from the moment my alarm clock rings I toe the line of another day. This day brings a new challenge, but as I toe this line I am offered the same choice I was yesterday. Do I choose to be the best I possibly can, or do I choose to be the other?
It's that simple too. There is no middle ground. Not for me, at least. If I choose to be anything less than the best that I can be, I am choosing mediocrity, and that is the biggest let down I can give to myself and everyone around me.
The week before I sat in that stall I had plenty of times to make a better choice. The month before... the year before. I came up short because I chose to.
I never want to sit there again and see the filth on the floor as my equal.
Monday I choose.
Tuesday I choose.
Wednesday I choose,
Thursday I choose.
Friday I choose.
Saturday I choose.
Sunday I choose.
That storm is past. Bring on the next.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I am the 99%... and that's ok
I grew up poor, but surrounded by love. I have a supporting mother who helps me with my rent. I am a student at Calvin College. I drive a car from 1995, and I am blessed to have it. I make very little money. I love the people around me. I will graduate with tens of thousands of student loans into a field that pays poorly.
I am the 99%... and that's ok.
I am more fortunate than most... even much of the 1%. Does easy living and money really solve problems? I get to do what I love every day. If I have to work 2 jobs to do that, so be it.
I see what the 99% is saying, but they are acting purely from a point of a victim, and with a sense of entitlement. We are truly not entitled to anything in the physical world. We live within our means, and we do what we have to in order to support those around us. Then when we are in need those around us support us back.
The world is torn and twisted, and the evil that permeates it is daunting and should not be ignored.
Joy is an odd thing to pin down, but it is not a result of "happiness"
I am the 99%... and that's ok.
I am more fortunate than most... even much of the 1%. Does easy living and money really solve problems? I get to do what I love every day. If I have to work 2 jobs to do that, so be it.
I see what the 99% is saying, but they are acting purely from a point of a victim, and with a sense of entitlement. We are truly not entitled to anything in the physical world. We live within our means, and we do what we have to in order to support those around us. Then when we are in need those around us support us back.
The world is torn and twisted, and the evil that permeates it is daunting and should not be ignored.
Joy is an odd thing to pin down, but it is not a result of "happiness"
Friday, September 2, 2011
Standing On the Edge
This entire summer I have been anticipating the semester that begins on Tuesday. I have poured myself out time and time again in my thoughts about this semester. And now that I stand on the brink I feel entirely unprepared. Coming off of last semester, I anticipate the semester to strike my life as a storm as brutal as the last, and my defenses are not in place.
I am reminded of a moment I just read of in The Return of the King. Gandalf and Pippin ride into Minas Tirith after a restless gallop all the way from Rohan to the North. This haste is brought about when Gandalf realizes that the enemy (Sauron and his armies in Mordor) are further in their plans then Gandalf had thought them. When Gandalf enters The City of Gondor, he passes a force of men working on building up a battlement of the outer wall. He says to them that the storm is already upon them and it would be better for them to begin sharpening their blades.
Later in that same chapter, Pippin goes to the gates of Minas Tirith with a newly acquainted friend to watch the arrival of armies that are coming to help. The armies ride in with glorious cheering from the people of Minas Tirith, but after they pass there is a murmur through the crowd, "too few have come". As I read there is a troubling sense that the battle that is being brought to Minas Tirith, the storm that is about to be unleashed upon the stronghold is more terrible then could possibly be prepared for.
I feel that I cannot prepare much further then I have, that I am expending all of my resources, yet the storm is coming upon me more violent then I could have predicted. I feel as ready as I could, yet not prepared enough; that I am standing on a diving board, facing backwards and all that is left is to jump.
So I look upon this storm, and I say "do your worst" for I would have nothing else. I jump and I run head first into the pouring thunder.
It's a good thing I have some great friends who will pick me up when I fall, and who will push me forward when I am discouraged. I suppose that the best thing to remember is that the storm never falls upon just one person.
I am reminded of a moment I just read of in The Return of the King. Gandalf and Pippin ride into Minas Tirith after a restless gallop all the way from Rohan to the North. This haste is brought about when Gandalf realizes that the enemy (Sauron and his armies in Mordor) are further in their plans then Gandalf had thought them. When Gandalf enters The City of Gondor, he passes a force of men working on building up a battlement of the outer wall. He says to them that the storm is already upon them and it would be better for them to begin sharpening their blades.
Later in that same chapter, Pippin goes to the gates of Minas Tirith with a newly acquainted friend to watch the arrival of armies that are coming to help. The armies ride in with glorious cheering from the people of Minas Tirith, but after they pass there is a murmur through the crowd, "too few have come". As I read there is a troubling sense that the battle that is being brought to Minas Tirith, the storm that is about to be unleashed upon the stronghold is more terrible then could possibly be prepared for.
I feel that I cannot prepare much further then I have, that I am expending all of my resources, yet the storm is coming upon me more violent then I could have predicted. I feel as ready as I could, yet not prepared enough; that I am standing on a diving board, facing backwards and all that is left is to jump.
So I look upon this storm, and I say "do your worst" for I would have nothing else. I jump and I run head first into the pouring thunder.
It's a good thing I have some great friends who will pick me up when I fall, and who will push me forward when I am discouraged. I suppose that the best thing to remember is that the storm never falls upon just one person.
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