I have finally learned how to love. I'm not perfect at it yet, but I am on my way.
Moving out to Denver I had to learn how to rely almost entirely on myself. Having a great work environment challenged me to be at the top of my game constantly. At first I began developing an anxiety towards these things. Not trusting that I can be good enough, not trusting my judgement enough to follow it. One day when I was working with the owner of the shop he turned to me and said, "I don't know why you don't trust yourself. I trust you." That stuck with me, and I began developing a trust in myself. I learned that my judgements can be good, and when they aren't I can learn from them. Hell, making mistakes is a part of everything.
When I saw people at work trusting in me, I began trusting my judgement. I learned to know, rather than ask. I learned how to speak confidently about what needed to be done. I learned how to be right, and I learned how to deal with being wrong. That confidence grew in every aspect of my life. I began being proactive about what needed to be done around the house, and what needed to be done in my life. Once I began living my life like this, I saw myself being surrounded by people who appreciated me. After learning how to trust myself, I began learning how to trust these people around me.
But the job is just a situation, how does one learn how to love? I began learning how to love when I learned how to love myself. When my time alone was not boring or sad, but profound and refreshing. I learned how to trust others after learning to trust myself. Interaction begins with and ends with you, if you do not love yourself then you will not be able to love the people around you. Life is just too hard for that. Nobody is strong enough to endure the weight of their own self loathing. You are beautiful and extraordinary. Dive deep into yourself and learn who you are. Love yourself and trust yourself. Admit to yourself when you are wrong, and move on with the experience to guide your next encounter. Be the most amazing version of yourself that only you are.
Just love. The rest will follow.
